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User blog:GravityMan/Literature vs History 4: Atticus Finch vs Jimmy McGill
Lol, Imma keep this short. Thanks to Leandro for the cover, thanks to Bran, TK, Drak, and Leandro for proof-reading, speaking of Drak, his battle's probably better so CHECK IT OUT. This battle is in honor of Better Call Saul's Season 2, so CHECK THAT OUT TOO. LET'S GO. (oh ye thanks to Quag, Cave, and Hawk for solving the hint) CHECK THIS OUT TOO: Smoshery's shit AND THIS: Dragon's shit THIS WOULD LOOK CLEANER EXCEPT IM TRAPPED IN SOURCE MODE Beat Chicago Rapper Colors James McGill is this color Atticus Finch is this color Mike Ehrmantraut is this color Intro RoboCop steps into the courthouse, walking up to a clerk. '“Where is, Mr. McGill?” he asks. "Courtroom B," '' '''he says, focussed on his Pimento sandwich. “Thank you.” RoboCop walks over to Courtroom B, court yet to be in session, throwing open the doors. Two men can be squabbling in the corner. “Hold it,” he commands, the two men halting their conversation to look over. “RoboCop? Why are you here?” one asked, taller and cleaner than the other, more rat-like one. RoboCop points at the rat-like one. “Are you Mr. McGill?” “Y-yes, James McGill,” he stutters. “You are the legal representative of a suspected murderer. Come with me.” At these words, the other attorney gets angry. “No! Mr. McGill you have stalled this case long enough! I’m so sorry RoboCop but we need to get this finished.” Lyrics Atticus Finch: Starts at 0:10 McGill? Oh! You must be Charles, the lawyer bested by no other! No wait, you’re the leech, the disappointing deadbeat of the perfect brother Jimmy you’re Slippin’ if you think he isn’t right, I believe people change, but you’re broken for life Dumpster diving for cash, frankly, you’re a disgrace And I will hunt you down faster than you do a dud case How can you expect to beat me, if you lost control of the Mike? Why don’t you make like the Kettleman’s, and take a hike But law aside, you appear alright, despite the casual drunken bender, But please stay out of my town, I don’t want my children around sex offenders So to professional work, my verse just killed your mockingbird, And by the order of the court, you just got served. Jimmy McGill: 0:311 HERE’S JOHNNY! Oh sorry, I don’t mean to come off strong guy, Just stressed from some secrets I leave buried deeper than your wife! Apologies, I know it’s not your fault your balls are now Hamlindigo blue, Shut up, I’m not at the opera, but you can still blow my Magic Flute! The only way your style’s worth something is if a hooker’s sitting on it I only sweat it in a sauna, conned the win into my pocket! I’m just kidding, huh, prison, huh, changed me for the better! I’m helping Chuck get cheese, just not looking for the cheddar While all your morals are a bore, taking cases for the poor, for not a penny or more, That’s great and all Birdman, but you got, like, two children to support! And while a certain “business man” broke my two numbskull client’s legs, I helped them back on their feet, while your most famous client’s dead! Boo. Watchman Finch: 0:52 Is aging throughout Jimmy’s verse You’re the epitome of sin, looking for hope at the bottom of the glass, You should quit your rabid bitchin’ before I put a bullet in your ass You’re just a bastard who can’t master the lyrical BAR of the rapper Drop you faster than SNL did to your washed up excuse of an actor Now sit down and take some notes from a professional, you’re pessimal, And like your salary your self-worth is always trapped in the decimals And in the shadows of your brother, Hamlin, Hamlin, Jesse, and Heisenberg! You wave a flag as white as your Cadillac, cheating on Kim at what Cost-ner? You’re even outshined by Phoenix Wright while I keep a legacy on Matlock You didn’t know your brother’s faith in you was faux? But you’re an expert on rip-off’s Jimmy sighs and walks off-screen, and a TV flickers onto a Saul Goodman commercial 1:13 Does your rapping lack taste? Trouble behind your bars at all? There’s only one attorney on the lines; so you Better Call Saul! Saul turns off the television, now wearing a bright orange blazer and a clashing striped green tie Saul Goodman: 1:24 You think I still care about my brother? Yes. Hashtag:FuckChuck! And like your daughter to Dill’s pickle, your verse REALLY sucked WEEEEEELL, I could’ve had the other Jimmy take the rap for ya bro, But you might as well stick to the bench, like Gregory Peck in Navarone! And unlike your boy’s heart, my work ethic doesn’t stop a beat! And why you dissin’ my crispy roll? Hey, a man’s gotta eat! Rhymes killer like Francesca’s booty, have a doobie, keep you groovy, The world isn’t a bland black and white, man...that’s your movie! But your sequel did great things for ya, opened the door to opportunity! I heard you got a third book coming, Finch, title? “To Kill A Legacy” '''WHO WON?' WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE LITERATURE! *jail bars fall down in from of the logo* HUH? VS HISTORY!!!!!!! ' ' Outro “Alright!” Saul Goodman says, Atticus Finch sulking away. “What was it you were asking me for? Murderer? Well that’s a strong term, kudos on using suspected or I’ll be suing your chrome dome ha!” “Information please,” RoboCop states. “Nope! I don’t make deals in the court, I do it on the steps. Better luck next time bucko-- shoulda called.” Saul pauses. “Well, I know who you’re talking about, a troublesome client, difficult to work with, always sliding in and out of jail...but I can tell you who he was friends with...a Mister OJ Simpson.” “Thank you,” RoboCop says, beginning to walk away. “I expect a tip for that tip!” Poll Who Won? Atticus Finch Jimmy McGill/Saul Goodman Hint for Next Battle Last Week's Hints Explained: Chimp With a Machine Gun: Chimp with a machine gun is the nickname Saul's brother Chuck gives him. Ebenezer Scrooge: Person who symbolizes change and growing bitter with time and money, Finch changes with time, Saul changes with money, also the clock in the background is a minor shoutout to Go Set A Watchman Category:Blog posts